No Worries Mon

Our arrival in Kingston was a bit of a shock to the system after some mainstream travels through the US. A taxi ride which took us through the fringes of Frenchtown (a shantytown on the fringe of downtown) en route to our accommodation gave us an insight into why the Lonely Planet describes Kingston as "not a city for the meek". For the 4 nights we were in Kingston, we read of 12 murders in the newspaper (1 in 2,000 Kingstonians are murdered every year compared with 1 in 80,000 New Zealanders).

After convincing our friendly but useless B&B lady to let us out of the house on Sunday, we headed downtown to check out the national Art Musuem. Despite our information sources, this turned out to be closed, along with the rest of the city which embraces the ‘Sunday day of rest’ concept. We literally drove through the heart of Kingston and saw 12 other people and maybe 20 cars on the road, something quite eerie in a city the size of Auckland.

Eventually we did stumble onto a sign advertising a ‘Well Fest’ in Hope Gardens, where we found a thriving (for a Sunday in Kingston) festival celebrating good health. We took in some rasta poetry, reggae beats and dance performances, while also learning of the healing properties of the cranberry. Interestingly enough, Jamaica is the number one global consumer of cranberries, a fact shared excitedly by the representative of Ocean Spray, the major sponsor of WellFest 07. No room in the market for Glaxo Klein Smith to offload some Ribena!


On Monday we spent an afternoon in the grounds of the Kingston home of Jamaica’s favourite son, Robert Nesta Marley. The tour of his home was great, even taking in the room where he was shot (with bullet holes still visible) in a failed assassination attempt ahead of the Jamaican One Love concert. A couple of old timers, one Bob’s former cook, hang out on the property. An Australian guy we met earlier in the afternoon visited the house but missed the tour as he got stuck out the back with Bob’s former cook smoking the ganja.


And then it is to our primary reason for a Jamaican visit, to take in the Black Caps v Sri Lanka World Cup semifinal. Sabina Park was about half full for the game (10,000 - 12,000 people) which was a little disappointing but probably due to the distance of Jamaica from the Super 8 matches and other semi-final and final. We met up with a small contingent of other Kiwis (including friends Susan and Anne) and got into our work (drinking and supporting) early.


The result was not what we’d hoped for, but to be honest Sri Lanka are a pretty slick outfit and very capable of knocking Straya (Australia) over in Saturday’s final. The day out was great with Pepsi dancers and brass band in the stand with us creating some great atmosphere. We remained vigilant supporters to the end, with Mat resorting to calling Murali for no-balls at every opportunity available (ie. Every time he bowled).


We commiserated the loss with some more local ales after the game at Courtney Walsh’s bar in New Kingston, before joining up with the cricketers at the Pegasus (where Bob Woolmer was murdered). The boys were pretty disappointed to go down with out playing their best, but looking forward to a couple of months off and a couple of stag nights in London.


Following the cricket, we ventured 70 miles to the northern side of the island, catching a bus to Ocho Rios. It was on this leg that we had our first real taste of local transportation. The bus system works with an island wide fleet of 20 seater buses which wait at stations until they’re full, and then head to the destination. By definition, full is when they have 35 people onboard the 20 seater, at which point the driver drops the clutch, driving as fast as he can to the desired destination so that he can empty the bus and start loading more passengers for a return leg.

Our journey to Ocho Rios through the Blue Mountains used the backroads as the main highway is subject to some major maintenance work. This meant our bus speed through one lane dirt roads in the middle of the rainforest, tooting continuously to ward off any vehicle that may be traveling in the opposite direction. We encountered some flood waters which were passed with ease (enough water in New Zealand to have justified a live report from Charlotte Glennie for the 6pm news) and concluded our ride with a significant onboard dispute when it was learned that a female passenger was $50 Jamaican (US$0.75) short on her fare and would have to stay onboard till the bus returned to Kingston.


Within 15 minutes of our arrival in Ocho Rios we’d been offered ‘smoke mon’ and ‘magic shrooms’ three times. Ocho is a tourist town, so the touts and hastlers line up the tourists pretty early on. While in Ocho, we headed out on a few day excursions, with a day at Dunn’s River Falls first up. This Karst landscape (Geol101) features a beautiful series of waterfalls and pools which fall 600 feet over a 1,000 feet run. We were able to climb up them through the pools which was great fun in our aqua booties. The only downer was the 1,500 others there who had disembarked from a couple of cruise ships on the day visit.


On our second day, we took to the Blue Mountains where we mountain biked from Mount Zion to the sea for a spot of snorkelling. The ride was great fun (downhill for 95%), and interspersed with stops for a beer, a visit to a local school, a stop for rum and a visit to a small jerk stand. Snorkelling at the end was great, and the cove featured a nice little cliff for jumping from into the sea, something all Kiwi kids are familliar with.


On our final day in Ocho, we took to the sea again, this time for a Scuba dive on the reef. Our first dive since leaving New Zealand, the visibility and marine environment combined for a great experience. Diving without a wetsuit was a new experience which allowed us to control our bouyancy with far more ease, and we’re very much looking forward to diving in Belize.

Finally we returned to Kingston to take in the shambles that was the World Cup Final. Great victory to Australia, and celebrated by all \with a few more Red Stripes (the ale of choice in Jamaica). We were again at Courtney Walsh's bar where Jamaica TV were broadcasting live from and happy to report we got some quality air time as we celebrated. Thanks Mozza for your acting lessons from your time on Shortland street - these skills came in handy!

On to Cuba now where our visit coincides with a National holiday for Labour Day. Given Fidel’s poor health of late, we suspect this to be a strong showing of nationalism that we’re looking forward to experiencing. Before we go, top 5 list of things said to us in Jamaica:

1. You wanna taxi mon?
2. You wanna smoke mon?
3. You wanna shrooms mon?
4. Hey white girl - you wonna braids mon?
5. No worries mon

Miami Vice & Cultural Learnings of America

This is a two part blog, firstly covering off our time in Miami, and secondly some diatribe from a couple of Kiwis at the end of 2 and a ½ weeks in the United States of America – land of the free. Before heading further, an apology to all friends that are reading for the length and frequency of posts – we’ll try to be more disciplined and expect the posts to be less frequent as the internet connections become less reliable. We’d also have less time to write posts if more people e-mailed us with news and updates of their own (someone pass us some tissues!).

Miami

Miami has always been penciled in as a bit of downtime before hitting Jamaica and Cuba. In this regard, it was the perfect spot to unwind with a fantastic beach, great weather and a generally more relaxed approach to life (the Cuban influence we suspect). We spent the first day down on the beach swimming, bathing and writing postcards (congrats to those that made the cut and got one), before grabbing a bucket and spade and knocking up a quick sandcastle.

On a downer however, our estimation of a 180 minute burn time (taking into account the additional ozone and pollution present in the atmosphere) was a little off, resulting in two burnt gringos at the end of the day. For Mat, a ginger, this is par for the course and something taken in one’s stride with an optimism that this time, it might tan instead of peel. For Caroline however, the burn knocked her for 6 and required some down time and aloe vera gel to get over it.

While Miami is a large enough city to keep one busy for a couple of weeks, we deliberately limited ourselves to the South Beach area and it’s fantastic restaurants. We ate like kings for 5 nights, with Italian, Mexican, Spanish and Japanese foods dominating the diet. The highlight of the culinary experiences of the week being a little place 200 metres from our hotel in Little Espanol called ‘Tapas & Tintos’.


We did however venture out to the Florida Everglades for a look at the flora and fauna. This excursion took us to Gator Park where a redneck with a chip on his shoulder about the local authorities and casinos on Indian reservations took us on an airboat journey through the everglades, taking in alligators, iguanas, turtles and birdlife along the way. Following the blat on the airboat, we took in a gator wrestling show and got the chance to man-handle one of these ferocious beasts ourselves. While ‘Larry’ below may look a little placid, we’re sure he was conserving energy for someone a little more plumper later in the day.

Cultural Learnings of America

Inspired by the title of Borat’s movie, and having been to ‘New York Dip’, a restaurant owned by the man that played Azumat (Borat’s Director) in the Borat movie, we thought we’d offer some of our observations on the US as we head south. Nothing too thought provoking, just some snippets of info…

For some reason, US toilets have an enormous amount of water in the bowl, such that if one is not careful when they sit, there is a risk of ‘wet balls’. On the positive side of things, this appeared to prevent skid marks, though did seem to be an enormous waste of water to avoid such crimes.

Figuring out tipping etiquette is something we are yet to conquer. We did learn early on the consequence of forgetting to tip when at a drinking establishment – a long time between the first and second round of drinks! It pays to ALWAYS have a spare $1 if you ever want another drink.
What is stupid though is tipping as a percentage of the bill. This means that with exceptional service on a cheap menu, the waitress will get a smaller tip than the waitress who provides crap service on an expensive meal. We did however utilise a new approach – round to the nearest $5 and leave quickly…

And on the subject of paying for things, why can’t we include tax on the advertised price? Nothing worse than ordering a $4 smoothie, getting a Sir Ed or dickie diver (fiver - $5) out of the wallet to learn that with tax and tip, it’s actually $6.53. If it’s going to be $6.53, put that on the menu and stop dicking us around! And what’s with the one cent pieces. Got 73 of them in the wallet already with no intention of using them. Funnily enough though, 73 one cent pieces staked end to end is still not enough to breach the water surface from the bottom of the toilet bowl!

Now the predominant interaction we had with money, tax and tipping was in relation to food, and generally copious amounts of it! Every second meal we ordered would feed a South Auckland family for a week and contain enough grease to keep the car running for a year. The resulting obesity epidemic is prevalent on most walks down an American street. Yet when one orders a beer, you have to specifically request full strength as apposed to light. Honestly, who has light beer on tap?

And finally, we’re finally getting used to the size of cars ( or ve-hick-els as they say it here) which are all generally wider than our little blue 4 door Corolla was long. Our favourites are the flat back utes where the base of the car sits 30cm above the top of the wheels which offer a distinct parking advantage in the urban environments where they are predominantly found. Yet to see one with mud or dirt on it, indicating use in an environment requiring 8,000 horse power of pulling power…

Californian Dreaming

Our return to Los Angeles signaled the end of or time with the Beige Bullet, with whom we had covered over 2,000 miles of touring in California, Nevada and Arizona with out too much trouble from the weather or Indians (classic line from a Western movie once watched). The faithful stead treated us well, though it was fair to say that we were looking forward to retiring her to greener pastures in Los Angeles, and travelling without the hassle of navigating 6 lane highways.

Back in Los Angeles, our first major outing was a visit to the Staples Centre to take in an NBA (basketball) game between the Los Angeles Clippers and the Portland Trailblazers. Tickets to the game came with t-shirts signaling our support for the Clippers and our citizenship of Clipper Nation.

The game itself was great despite the Trailblazers lack of competitiveness (Clippers won by 20 points), with Sam Cassell (those who collected basketball cards in the early 90’s (Mozza & John) will remember that name) ejected from the game in the final quarter for arguing with the ref. It was here that we got our second confirmed celebrity sighting, Billy Crystal.

While we celebrated the retirement of the Beige Bullet, we also lamented her absence when we had a mozza of a day getting to the Getty Art Museum. Our short journey from Hollywood turned into a three hour mission as we exited a bus early, misinterpreted it’s route and walked 5 miles down a major arterial route (taking in the State War Memorial) before reconnecting with the absent bus. The museum surroundings and view were pretty spectacular and inside featured Illuminated manuscripts, Renaissance paintings, classic Impressionist examples from Monet, Manet and Van Gogh (haystacks, irises…it was all there), as well as some memorable examples of Richter and Giocametti among others.

We also busted it out to Venice Beach for an afternoon of people watching. Venice Beach is a beautiful white sand beach with promenade for roller skating and cycling. It is also home to a thriving community of artists (using the term loosely in many circumstances), tattooists, street performers and some public sporting infrastructure, including the infamous outdoor gym where you can usually find solidly built units eating creotene and throwing some tin round in the sun.

Some classic units met during the course of our visit, including ‘Harry Karey’, a guy recognizable from a number of movies that use Venice Beach as a location, who rollerblades the beach in a turban playing an electric guitar. We also took in some great break-dancing entertainment from 5 young lads from the mean streets of Chicago.

We grabbed a day at Universal Studios, which all in all would have to rank as a bit disappointing due to the lack of celebrity sightings, annoying kids and the generally over-hyped nature of the place. We took in all of the rides and the studio tour which included sets from ‘Desperate Housewives’ and ‘War of the Worlds’.


During our time in Los Angeles we stayed in Hollywood, a couple hundred metres from Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, the Kodak Theatre (Oscars) and the walk of fame. The location was fantastic for us, though it would be fair to say that Los Angeles itself hasn’t captured our excitement as much as San Francisco or Las Vegas. We did manage to head out for a nice meal before leaving, at a Japanese Shabu Shabu restaurant (cook your food yourself) on Hollywood and Highland, and also got a glimpse of the famed ‘Whiskey A Go Go’ and the ‘Viper Room’, the later the infamous bar owned by Johnny Depp where River Phoenix lost his life to a drug overdose.

From here it is on to Miami for a few days, before onwards to Jamaica for the World Cup Cricket. The cricket is the primary driver for the extended nature of our travels, taking the opportunity while in the region to take in a World Cup semi-final in the Caribbean. We’ve been watching the results closely, and with it 90% certain we’ll be seeing the Blackcaps (barring a massive victory over Australia in the last game), the excitement bubbled over for Mat in our room in Hollywood…

Show Me The Money

This is a long one team, but plenty to update you upon.

The West Coast road-trip in the Beige Bullet continued back towards Los Angeles with a return south along the Pacific Coast Highway to the Monterey Peninsula to take a look at the famed Aquarium. While overrun by a thousand hyped up kids courtesy of Easter deliveries earlier that morning (think of a school camp for 1,000 ADHD kids) the aquarium itself was pretty impressive. While most visitors seemed focused on a couple of sea otters swimming in circles, we found the jellyfish extremely beautiful, and really enjoyed the outer water exhibit featuring some massive yellow fin tuna, sunfish and hammerhead sharks.

From here, we took the Beige Bullet onto the private ‘17 Mile Drive’ which winds around the Monterey Peninsula, taking in some magnificent golf courses, rugged coastal scenery and some local flora and fauna. Among the stops we made was a chance to view the lone Cypress (famous Californian landmark) and the Pebble Beach Golf Club which was home to the 2000 US Open. Happy to report that despite the illustrious nature of this course, beautiful scenery and exorbitant green fees, that Sunday hackers still get a shot at 18 holes. The four we watched coming up the 18th may have looked the part in their gears, but after all four sprayed their shots short of and round the green from 70 yards, we realised this four had probably got there money’s worth in terms of the shots/green fees ratio. The scenic drive terminated in the town of Carmel by the Sea, where Clint Eastwood was recently Mayor.

We were forced to grab a night in Bakerfield California (think of the Tron (Hamiltron) on roids) en route to Vegas. The Econo-Lodge stepped up for us with a room for $39.99 including a free continental breakfast, a treat we woke to early in anticipation of. Our dreams of fresh fruit, bacon, hotcakes and hand squeezed orange juice by the pool were shattered however when we were presented with a cardboard box at reception containing some 5 day old danishes and were pointed in the direction of a filter coffee machine in the corner.

From Bakersfield, we traveled north east to the City of Sin, Las Vegas. This place is outrageous but definitely worth the visit. We stayed in the heart of the strip at ‘The New Frontier Hotel and Casino – Cold Beers, Dirty Girls’. Built in the late 70’s, located in front of the new Trump Tower and themed on the wild west, this gem offered a $49 room (which was actually very impressive) and amongst the attractions had 10pm mud wrestling, midnight topless mechanical bull riding and the only Bingo on the strip.

We had a crack at the Bingo competition - $100,000 for a cover all in the last game if done in 47 balls or less (that’s bingo lingo for those playing at home). We we’re surrounded by chain smoking bingo veterans, and made a couple of amateur mistakes, informed halfway through the first game that we would be disqualified for using non-regulation markers! No wins for us, though Mat came up two short on the final cover-all. We were more successful on the Black Jack table, where again despite some amateur moments, we ended up $20.

Apart from the myriad of casinos on offer, Vegas is a show town and we found ourselves with an abundance of shows to attend – Elton John at Caesers Palace, the Artist Formerly Known as Prince and now known as Prince again at the Rio, the Blue Man Group at the Venetian, Roseanne at New York New York. In the end, we passed on the Hoffortunity to see The Hoff (David Hasselhoff for those older readers – Knightrider, Baywatch) starring in ‘The Producers’ in preference for one of the many Cirque du Soleil shows on offer – ‘Ka’.

Words cannot begin to explain how amazing this show was, and because no cameras were allowed in, we have no pictures to help either. In essence though, this show took the magic of any Cirque du Soleil performance (acrobatics, high wire trapeze & bungee, elaborate costume) and combined it with a set that encompassed the whole theatre and a stage on hydraulics that could rotate 360 degrees and swing 180 degrees from flat, to vertical and back to flat. I’m sure the Hoff would have been good too though...

We took a day out from Vegas to pop across to the Grand Canyon. At this stage, we should pass comment on the US travel plans, which were based on a googled map of the entire US with 4 cities labeled, on which Mat had put dots where he thought places were, and drawn red lines to represent roads. In reality, there are no direct routes featuring Vegas or the Grand Canyon, so Mat’s hypothesized 1.5 hour each way drive to the Canyon from Vegas was actually a 500 mile excursion taking an entire day, with an hour on site at the Canyon.

Now when they named it the Grand Canyon, they were not lying (and thus an hour on site didn’t really do it justice). We did manage to cover a few of the vantage points with the help of the Beige Bullet’s streamline uphill abilities, and even managed to see some wildlife – a Coyote which looked capable of stealing a baby. If we are ever to return to the US, we’ll be making sure we set aside a few days to park the Beige Bullet and actually trek in the Grand Canyon. We did manage to get the tripod out and use the self timer on this gem of a family portrait!!

Back in Vegas, and with finances a bit stretched, we took up an offer (of which we’d been made on every street corner in Vegas) to attend a Time Share presentation in return for US$100 in vouchers at the Luxor and US$100 for the pokies at the Royale. We also got a voucher for a cruise in the Bahamas and a ‘Continental Breakfast’ during the presentation (though this one had fruit juice and donuts as well as danishes). We were a bit worried about what we’d signed up for, but Randy Weir of the Grand View Las Vegas soon put our minds to rest. Randy was a college ball player that hadn’t made it to the pro’s because of injury, and set about selling us on a time share unit that he and his pretty little wife had also invested in.

The beauty of buying in Vegas, we learned, was that we were buying at the top of the pyramid – always high season and the world’s largest tourist destination. This would enable us to buy low and sell high. We then took a drive in his pick up truck to the apartments, only 60 minutes walk from The Strip. When we questioned the location - because he told us that buying in Vegas was location, location, location – Randy suggested that the Strip would eventually expand the 12 miles out to where the apartments were located. Two hours later, we got the price – US$19,000, but for us, only US$14,000. When we turned this down, we were taken to another room to complete a survey where the price dropped to US$5,000. We now own a one bedroom apartment for one week a year on the 3rd floor below…

Just kidding, but we did get the vouchers which we exchanged for cash. Sweet deal. Randy was a bit miffed we didn’t buy. He had said that one in four buy - two of the others are stupid and one doesn’t have the money.

Next update will follow our 5 days back in Los Angeles. Love to all and go the Black Caps whom we will be seeing in 10 days time.

The Eagle Has Landed...

We began our Adventures through the America’s with a night in Hollywood, Los Angeles. A predictable but exciting start to the trip along Hollywood Boulevard, taking in the walk of fame, Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, Kodak Theatre (home of the Oscars) and our first taste of Budweiser and Californian Pizza. Mat was particularly excited when he stumbled on Magnum P.I.’s star, and sought advice on grooming the ‘dirty sanchez’.

Mat was surprised to find how nice and normal the average American is. However, whilst navigating our way on the Metro the next day, his attempts to form a friendship with a street musician were unsuccessful. Apparently Mat’s insistent attempts to help him move his multiple bags didn’t endear. We left on good terms as Mat accepted defeat after stating “how about I just stop trying to help you”.

We picked up a rental car after increasing our cover having found the amazing internet rate with basic insurance cover only provided cover in the event of tsunami or volcanic eruption (theft, 1st/3rd party and general damage from driving not included). After upgrading cover, be took the ‘Beige Bullet’ out of the car park, made a right turn 100m later and found ourselves driving in 6 lanes of traffic at 70 miles per hour where the use of indicators was apparently a voluntary decision on behalf of drivers. No one merges like a zipper here!

Mat’s preference for maintaining the driving position within the lane as if he were in a right-hand drive car meant Caroline sat dangerously close to any traffic on our right. Despite this, the 400 mile drive was swiftly completed with a memorable stop at a picturesque surf spot on the Pacific Coast highway and less than memorable stop at Taco Bell.

In San Francisco, we stayed with Sam, Chan and Andreas at the Embassy Suites, a Hilton Group Hotel, courtesy of hotel points accumulated by Andreas in his business travels. This special included a daily complimentary Breakfast and a guided walking tour (from Andreas) around this beautiful city.


San Francisco is a fantastic city with a variety of different neighbourhoods sitting side by side, from the bohemian home of Vietnam protest in Haight-Ashbury to the rejuvenated waterfront featuring amazing public sculptures and up-market delis. We took in a Major League Baseball game with the Gaints taking on the Padres, featuring Barry Bonds as he closes in on the all time home run record. Despite the best efforts of the Giants to lose it in the 9th, they won their first game of the season 5-3.

Other attractions included a day with Mary (Andrew Ward) and Sarah touring the Napa Valley Wineries, a morning in the de Young Art Museum, a stroll through Berkley University and a fabulous meal at a Micro-brewery in Burlingham. And of course, the Golden Gate Bridge which is a truly magnificent piece of engineering, even if it is enveloped in fog a lot of the time.

And of course, a visit to San Francisco would not be complete without a visit to the house from ‘Full House’, the 80’s sitcom featuring Danny, Uncle Jessie, Uncle Joey, DJ, Stephanie, Michelle, Kimmy, Becky… too much info? As Sam and I sat in the park taking in the view of the house, we suddenly realized we had no idea which house was specifically the ‘Full House’ house, but took solace in the fact that there were 30 other travelers standing in the park taking photos of the houses and were probably facing the same issue.

Onwards from here, we head to Las Vegas, hoping to make it out to the Grand Canyon, and then back to Los Angeles.